Minding
my own business, I buy a bottle of water and as I take my seat in the
cinema Ms. Fat-Cow-That-Thinks-She-Funny leans over and says "Denzel?The
radio guy?Don't they pay you enough to afford a soda and popcorn?"
I turn and politely say "Oh Hi Adele! No. Wait. You can't be
Adele...because you're not pregnant...you're actually fat...because of
that soda in your hand"
She shut up and leaned back.
1-I don't take to pathetic conversations in the cinema.
2-I don't take to pathetic mindsets that think drinking water is a sign of being impoverished.
While I'm at it, Spiderman 3 is a decent motion picture...
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Ladies, we aren't always hitting on you!
The pain of meeting the x girlfriend looking really good...(*what happened to the pimples?)
The joy of meeting her new not so good looking boyfriend...(*rick ross tummy etc LOL)
The pain of noting he is alot more successful than you...(*Thats his business card!?!)
The joy of knowing he only rose so high because of "daddy's influence" ...(*Influential surname)
The pain of knowing he is constantly cheating on her .... (*So, yes, I still care.)
Led to the following conversation>
Denzel : Hey, can we meet up, there is something I been meaning to tell you for a while and I cant exactly say this over the phone.
Suddenly Arrogant ***** : Forget it Denzel, you dont stand a chance. What we had is over and I'm not really keen on meeting up with you.
Denzel : Errm ...Ummm... Ok, good day!
Led to the following scenario>
The joy of knowing he is constantly cheating on her...(*I tried to tell you)
The double joy of knowing she thinks she is the luckiest girl in the world...(*dream on)
Moral of the story:
Slow your role ladies, we aint always trying to hit on you.
The joy of meeting her new not so good looking boyfriend...(*rick ross tummy etc LOL)
The pain of noting he is alot more successful than you...(*Thats his business card!?!)
The joy of knowing he only rose so high because of "daddy's influence" ...(*Influential surname)
The pain of knowing he is constantly cheating on her .... (*So, yes, I still care.)
Led to the following conversation>
Denzel : Hey, can we meet up, there is something I been meaning to tell you for a while and I cant exactly say this over the phone.
Suddenly Arrogant ***** : Forget it Denzel, you dont stand a chance. What we had is over and I'm not really keen on meeting up with you.
Denzel : Errm ...Ummm... Ok, good day!
Led to the following scenario>
The joy of knowing he is constantly cheating on her...(*I tried to tell you)
The double joy of knowing she thinks she is the luckiest girl in the world...(*dream on)
Moral of the story:
Slow your role ladies, we aint always trying to hit on you.
Konshens on Xfm
So, we have Konshens live on XFM 94.8
So, we take callers live on air
Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!
*Call disconnected*
So, we take callers live on air
Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!
*Call disconnected*
Konshens on Xfm
So, we have Konshens live on XFM 94.8
So, we take callers live on air
Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!
*Call disconnected*
So, we take callers live on air
Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!
*Call disconnected*
Ladies, listen up
Ladies,
and I'm only being real here,
if you know you don't score highly in the looks department,
and I'm only being real here,
don't EVER hangout with your pretty girlfriends,
and I'm only being real here,
Atleast get an uglier-than-you girlfriend
and I'm only being real here,
so that atleast you look ...errm..."pretty"...by comparison,
and I'm only being real here!
and I'm only being real here,
if you know you don't score highly in the looks department,
and I'm only being real here,
don't EVER hangout with your pretty girlfriends,
and I'm only being real here,
Atleast get an uglier-than-you girlfriend
and I'm only being real here,
so that atleast you look ...errm..."pretty"...by comparison,
and I'm only being real here!
The Proud Ugandans
Wow. I'm gobsmacked by a BBC report that 50% of South Africans are without a job.
Damn. That's quite sad.
*side story.
I was always taken aback by the southern African attitude towards work (Namibia included) in contrast to East Africans (Uganda in particular)
When I was hustling as a waiter, people would actually respect you for having a job regardless the designation. Plus alot of the "cool kids" I knew had hustled working in bars, supermarkets etc
In Uganda, tell people you are a waiter. They will certainly laugh or deride you.
Same applies to money. People here seem to NEVER admit being broke/living in a ghetto/going to a simple school.
No. Ugandan would rather "ah, I can't tell you where I live/work/study."...or the classic "drop me here, ill walk the rest of the way to my place"
Folks need to be more proud of who they are. All said and done it makes you a happier person.
Damn. That's quite sad.
*side story.
I was always taken aback by the southern African attitude towards work (Namibia included) in contrast to East Africans (Uganda in particular)
When I was hustling as a waiter, people would actually respect you for having a job regardless the designation. Plus alot of the "cool kids" I knew had hustled working in bars, supermarkets etc
In Uganda, tell people you are a waiter. They will certainly laugh or deride you.
Same applies to money. People here seem to NEVER admit being broke/living in a ghetto/going to a simple school.
No. Ugandan would rather "ah, I can't tell you where I live/work/study."...or the classic "drop me here, ill walk the rest of the way to my place"
Folks need to be more proud of who they are. All said and done it makes you a happier person.
The waitress and my cock...or coke?
Thank you pathetic waitress. For the laugh you gave me.
And ofcourse the ice cold "coke".
*repeated in near verbatim*
Denzel: Hi, what have you got on the menu today?
Pathetic waitress: sir, you tell me what you want and I tell you what we have.
Denzel: *slightly agitated* Excuse me? You should tell me what you have then I tell you what I want.
Pathetic waitress: No sir, you tell me what you want and I tell you if we have it.
Denzel: *visibly agitated* I want you to suck my cock.
Pathetic waitress: one cock?
Denzel: *suddenly taken aback and loving the conversation* Errm ... yes I ....ummm...I have one cock.
Pathetic waitress: No sir. I can see you have no cock. Let me bring one for you.
:))))
And ofcourse the ice cold "coke".
*repeated in near verbatim*
Denzel: Hi, what have you got on the menu today?
Pathetic waitress: sir, you tell me what you want and I tell you what we have.
Denzel: *slightly agitated* Excuse me? You should tell me what you have then I tell you what I want.
Pathetic waitress: No sir, you tell me what you want and I tell you if we have it.
Denzel: *visibly agitated* I want you to suck my cock.
Pathetic waitress: one cock?
Denzel: *suddenly taken aback and loving the conversation* Errm ... yes I ....ummm...I have one cock.
Pathetic waitress: No sir. I can see you have no cock. Let me bring one for you.
:))))
Pheew! The baby aint mine! :)
Just came back from seeing my ex-girlfriends new born baby.
Eyes - No.
Nose - No.
Ears - No.
Private parts - No.
Happy to say the ugly little thing doesn't look like me!
Eyes - No.
Nose - No.
Ears - No.
Private parts - No.
Happy to say the ugly little thing doesn't look like me!
Pheew! The baby aint mine! :)
Just came back from seeing my ex-girlfriends new born baby.
Eyes - No.
Nose - No.
Ears - No.
Private parts - No.
Happy to say the ugly little thing doesn't look like me!
Eyes - No.
Nose - No.
Ears - No.
Private parts - No.
Happy to say the ugly little thing doesn't look like me!
I will warn my future sons about today
*I wont forget today.
I will warn my sons about today ....*
*Denzel in the future*
Son, back in 2012, on grandmas birthday, we decided to go for an Indian meal. In a bid to impress the hot Indian girl on the next table (even though daddy knew there was no chance; Indian girls never married African boys in 2012) he proceeded to use his hands and look like he eats Indian every day...tearing his Nan like a true connoisseur and cleaning the plate of any curry...in the process getting the hot curry...
SON, put down your iphone 20 and listen to me...
Like I was saying, I got that spicy hot curry all over my hands and proceeded to wash my hands in the bathroom.
On reaching the bathroom, daddy thought it smart to pee first and then wash his hands once and for all.
daddy unzipped his pants, pulled out **** and proceeded to pee.
It was a hot day, and for a moment daddy thought the heat was the reason his ***** was suddenly heating up.
Hmmm... not thinking much of it he continued pee'ing.
Hmmm...suddenly thinking much of it he paused pee'ing.
HOLY SHIT.
Daddy's ***** was on fire!!!!!!!
Daddy should have known that he should never have touched his ****** with curry hot curry sauce still on his fingers.
And no. Don't ask daddy how much it hurt.
And no. Don't ask daddy how I ended up cooling ***** down.
And no. Dot ask daddy how stupid he felt walking back to the table after nearly 30mins with a wet patch on his pants.
*I wont forget today.
I will warn my sons about today ....*
I will warn my sons about today ....*
*Denzel in the future*
Son, back in 2012, on grandmas birthday, we decided to go for an Indian meal. In a bid to impress the hot Indian girl on the next table (even though daddy knew there was no chance; Indian girls never married African boys in 2012) he proceeded to use his hands and look like he eats Indian every day...tearing his Nan like a true connoisseur and cleaning the plate of any curry...in the process getting the hot curry...
SON, put down your iphone 20 and listen to me...
Like I was saying, I got that spicy hot curry all over my hands and proceeded to wash my hands in the bathroom.
On reaching the bathroom, daddy thought it smart to pee first and then wash his hands once and for all.
daddy unzipped his pants, pulled out **** and proceeded to pee.
It was a hot day, and for a moment daddy thought the heat was the reason his ***** was suddenly heating up.
Hmmm... not thinking much of it he continued pee'ing.
Hmmm...suddenly thinking much of it he paused pee'ing.
HOLY SHIT.
Daddy's ***** was on fire!!!!!!!
Daddy should have known that he should never have touched his ****** with curry hot curry sauce still on his fingers.
And no. Don't ask daddy how much it hurt.
And no. Don't ask daddy how I ended up cooling ***** down.
And no. Dot ask daddy how stupid he felt walking back to the table after nearly 30mins with a wet patch on his pants.
*I wont forget today.
I will warn my sons about today ....*
God and his iPad
Dear God,
Are you seating up there in some clouds thinking..."ah, I'm bored. Let me check my iPad app for -Those who didnt go to church today-...Hmm...Denzel again? Let me fuck with him for a minute! hey, angel Gabriel...come and watch this..."
*back on planet earth Denzel is in queue at cash machine*
Here I am stuck in the queue. I strike up a conversation with the pretty someone in-front of me who happens to be "carrying" a fine set of buttocks that only African women are allowed to "carry" around.
What an easy way to garner every iota of my perverted attention.
She (also) looks good.
She (also) talks good.
She (even) smells good.
We swap numbers and just as am thinking why the man above has been good to me considering I haven't been in a place of worship in ages, she yawns and stretches her hands to reveal...lo and behold...her under arm had more hair than Micheal Jackson when he was black.
Promptly deleted that phone number. If she she has an afro under her arms she probably has dreadlocks between her legs.
Unequivocally NOT my type. Deuces!
*Back in Heaven*
God and Angel Gabriel are cracking up ..."Hahaha, now that was funny. Being God is fun. Back to business. What has the pope tweeted of late ...hmmmm..."
Are you seating up there in some clouds thinking..."ah, I'm bored. Let me check my iPad app for -Those who didnt go to church today-...Hmm...Denzel again? Let me fuck with him for a minute! hey, angel Gabriel...come and watch this..."
*back on planet earth Denzel is in queue at cash machine*
Here I am stuck in the queue. I strike up a conversation with the pretty someone in-front of me who happens to be "carrying" a fine set of buttocks that only African women are allowed to "carry" around.
What an easy way to garner every iota of my perverted attention.
She (also) looks good.
She (also) talks good.
She (even) smells good.
We swap numbers and just as am thinking why the man above has been good to me considering I haven't been in a place of worship in ages, she yawns and stretches her hands to reveal...lo and behold...her under arm had more hair than Micheal Jackson when he was black.
Promptly deleted that phone number. If she she has an afro under her arms she probably has dreadlocks between her legs.
Unequivocally NOT my type. Deuces!
*Back in Heaven*
God and Angel Gabriel are cracking up ..."Hahaha, now that was funny. Being God is fun. Back to business. What has the pope tweeted of late ...hmmmm..."
A Moment
Sometimes I seat there and stare at my family and realise how little they know about me.
Should I do my best to prove I'm not as irresponsible as they think I am?
Maybe not.
Sometimes I seat there and stare at the world and realise how little they know about me.
Should I do my best to prove I'm not as irresponsible as they think I am? Maybe not.
What matters most, in my opnion, is not what people percieve of you, good or bad. Its what you know about yourself, good or bad, and just being happy and content with who you are, good or bad.
I actually consider myself very responsible, considering I tidy my bed everymorning before I leave my home.
its the small things you do when no one is watching that define you.
Should I do my best to prove I'm not as irresponsible as they think I am?
Maybe not.
Sometimes I seat there and stare at the world and realise how little they know about me.
Should I do my best to prove I'm not as irresponsible as they think I am? Maybe not.
What matters most, in my opnion, is not what people percieve of you, good or bad. Its what you know about yourself, good or bad, and just being happy and content with who you are, good or bad.
I actually consider myself very responsible, considering I tidy my bed everymorning before I leave my home.
its the small things you do when no one is watching that define you.
Rich White People and Rich Black People
I LOVE studying people. But these one here leaves me stumped.
(Some) of my rich white friends are very different from (most) of my rich black friends.
These chaps (the white ones) come from very established families and are rather wealthy. But their material possessions are very basic. The parents drive basic manual cars with wind down windows. The kids will gladly grab a taxi or bodaboda yet they could easily make use of one of the many staff cars at daddy's workplace. They got basic mobile phones and arent too bothered by a tablet computer. That basic laptop with stickers from high school still running windows xp will suffice. And their TV's are CRT, not LED. At the bar, its a beer. In some random billabong teeshirt and Levi's and chuck taylors.
At home they got lots of books. And travel magazines.
The black ones, oh boy, where do I start. Taxi? Rather be shot dead. A phone that isnt touch or internet enabled and you have ear marked him for suicide. The house must have exotic furnishings, LED screen(s), plush leather seats etc... the works. going out? Umm...cocktails or a bottle of celebrity endorsed liquor...hopefully in the VIP area. Clothing must be labelled.
At home, little or no presence of books (I'm not being funny, very real.)
I asked my rich white friend, why is that so. He says he doesnt know. He was never brought up to indulge in much materialism... but I know its not a case of him alone. I see it in most of them.
But he said he THINKS its cause white folk dont need to "prove" themselves social status or otherwise, but black people always seem to want to prove themselves, social status or otherwise.
Anybody else noticed this? Whats your take?
(Some) of my rich white friends are very different from (most) of my rich black friends.
These chaps (the white ones) come from very established families and are rather wealthy. But their material possessions are very basic. The parents drive basic manual cars with wind down windows. The kids will gladly grab a taxi or bodaboda yet they could easily make use of one of the many staff cars at daddy's workplace. They got basic mobile phones and arent too bothered by a tablet computer. That basic laptop with stickers from high school still running windows xp will suffice. And their TV's are CRT, not LED. At the bar, its a beer. In some random billabong teeshirt and Levi's and chuck taylors.
At home they got lots of books. And travel magazines.
The black ones, oh boy, where do I start. Taxi? Rather be shot dead. A phone that isnt touch or internet enabled and you have ear marked him for suicide. The house must have exotic furnishings, LED screen(s), plush leather seats etc... the works. going out? Umm...cocktails or a bottle of celebrity endorsed liquor...hopefully in the VIP area. Clothing must be labelled.
At home, little or no presence of books (I'm not being funny, very real.)
I asked my rich white friend, why is that so. He says he doesnt know. He was never brought up to indulge in much materialism... but I know its not a case of him alone. I see it in most of them.
But he said he THINKS its cause white folk dont need to "prove" themselves social status or otherwise, but black people always seem to want to prove themselves, social status or otherwise.
Anybody else noticed this? Whats your take?
Run away from girls...
Fella's RUN AWAY from a girl that has never bought you anything...because, girls usually have more money than us.
You see, in all honesty, some girls really dont spend any money at all and if she has never even bought you a slice of cake, taken you out for a movie...she's a good for nothing girl.
Lets be real...
She never pays rent because well, she stays at home or in her boyfriends house. Free food usually comes with this package.
We were most likely kicked out of the house and pay our own rent. Free food usually doesn't come with this package.
She never pays when she goes out, boyfriend or her date picks her up covers every tab thereafter and well, drops her off. Free drinks usually come with this package.
We always pay when we take ourselves or someone else out. Free drinks usually don't come with this package.
Her accessories (phone to underwear) suddenly appear on valentines, birthdays and other "special" days.
Our accessories (phone to underwear) sometimes suddenly appear on ... one special day called pay day, from our paychecks.
Now now, this isnt the case for all girls, but its the case for most...but for all intents and purposes, a girl should be able to surprise her man with a little something...small as a tie... big as a car, cheap as an apple or expensive as a trip to his dream country...anything.
Like I said...Fella's RUN AWAY from a girl that has never bought you anything...because, girls usually have more money than us.
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
You see, in all honesty, some girls really dont spend any money at all and if she has never even bought you a slice of cake, taken you out for a movie...she's a good for nothing girl.
Lets be real...
She never pays rent because well, she stays at home or in her boyfriends house. Free food usually comes with this package.
We were most likely kicked out of the house and pay our own rent. Free food usually doesn't come with this package.
She never pays when she goes out, boyfriend or her date picks her up covers every tab thereafter and well, drops her off. Free drinks usually come with this package.
We always pay when we take ourselves or someone else out. Free drinks usually don't come with this package.
Her accessories (phone to underwear) suddenly appear on valentines, birthdays and other "special" days.
Our accessories (phone to underwear) sometimes suddenly appear on ... one special day called pay day, from our paychecks.
Now now, this isnt the case for all girls, but its the case for most...but for all intents and purposes, a girl should be able to surprise her man with a little something...small as a tie... big as a car, cheap as an apple or expensive as a trip to his dream country...anything.
Like I said...Fella's RUN AWAY from a girl that has never bought you anything...because, girls usually have more money than us.
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Old Money Manners
Just witnessed old money manners.
This distinguished gentleman at the Sheraton with his wife, as we are watching Kampala Music school perform, waiter brings him a bottle of Hennesy.
He pours himself a glass and stores the bottle under his seat.
Had it been a young guy, *me inclusive, I would have asked for a table to place the Henny on...and yeah, let erryone know what Im sipping! haha.
So is the difference between young and old money. Young money usually tries to show his wealth...old money usually tries to hide his wealth.
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
This distinguished gentleman at the Sheraton with his wife, as we are watching Kampala Music school perform, waiter brings him a bottle of Hennesy.
He pours himself a glass and stores the bottle under his seat.
Had it been a young guy, *me inclusive, I would have asked for a table to place the Henny on...and yeah, let erryone know what Im sipping! haha.
So is the difference between young and old money. Young money usually tries to show his wealth...old money usually tries to hide his wealth.
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Old Money Manners
Just witnessed old money manners.
This distinguished gentleman at the Sheraton with his wife, as we are watching Kampala Music school perform, waiter brings him a bottle of Hennesy.
He pours himself a glass and stores the bottle under his seat.
Had it been a young guy, *me inclusive, I would have asked for a table to place the Henny on...and yeah, let erryone know what Im sipping! haha.
So is the difference between young and old money. Young money usually tries to show his wealth...old money usually tries to hide his wealth.
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
This distinguished gentleman at the Sheraton with his wife, as we are watching Kampala Music school perform, waiter brings him a bottle of Hennesy.
He pours himself a glass and stores the bottle under his seat.
Had it been a young guy, *me inclusive, I would have asked for a table to place the Henny on...and yeah, let erryone know what Im sipping! haha.
So is the difference between young and old money. Young money usually tries to show his wealth...old money usually tries to hide his wealth.
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Burning butt! :)
OH No....OH NOOOO.....damn, whats that burning sensation??? Had I been raped without knowing it???....
be warned: this status update might not be for the open minded, read on at your own risk!
So I stumbled upon something very ..umm...odd about digestion today morning. I was in the bathroom, happily seated and reading a magazine as I went about my "business of the day" when I realsied an odd tingling burn ... down there!
*ahem*
I calmly put the magazine down and started to direct my feelings...haha...to make sure what I was feeling was..ahem..real and not imagined.
*ahem*
The burning sensation only got worse as *ahem*...the "business of the day" went on.
Fearing the worst, I calmly collected my self and wondered what in the hell had happened?
Had somebody snuck into my house in the middle of the night and raped me?
Hmm...haha...I quickly finished the "business of the day" and went to check that my door was firmly locked...no signs of a break in...before I sat down and relaised how ridiculous I was being.
ps, the burning sensation was still there.
*ahem*
evaluating my options, I thought of calling mom and asking her what could be the cause of this all?
But I stopped short when I realised what an odd phone call it would be to Mom!
Son: Hey mom
Mom: Hey son
Son: My ass is on fire, whats up with that?
Mom: _____________________________
Yeah. Bad idea.
Phone in hand, I resorted to my other parents.... Google!
I quickly stripped and was just about to dash into the bathroom to water down when I hit search and was soon laughing my burning ass off when I realized this was actually the effect of too much chilli in my indian food from last night!!
Extracted from www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyerets
be warned: this status update might not be for the open minded, read on at your own risk!
So I stumbled upon something very ..umm...odd about digestion today morning. I was in the bathroom, happily seated and reading a magazine as I went about my "business of the day" when I realsied an odd tingling burn ... down there!
*ahem*
I calmly put the magazine down and started to direct my feelings...haha...to make sure what I was feeling was..ahem..real and not imagined.
*ahem*
The burning sensation only got worse as *ahem*...the "business of the day" went on.
Fearing the worst, I calmly collected my self and wondered what in the hell had happened?
Had somebody snuck into my house in the middle of the night and raped me?
Hmm...haha...I quickly finished the "business of the day" and went to check that my door was firmly locked...no signs of a break in...before I sat down and relaised how ridiculous I was being.
ps, the burning sensation was still there.
*ahem*
evaluating my options, I thought of calling mom and asking her what could be the cause of this all?
But I stopped short when I realised what an odd phone call it would be to Mom!
Son: Hey mom
Mom: Hey son
Son: My ass is on fire, whats up with that?
Mom: _____________________________
Yeah. Bad idea.
Phone in hand, I resorted to my other parents.... Google!
I quickly stripped and was just about to dash into the bathroom to water down when I hit search and was soon laughing my burning ass off when I realized this was actually the effect of too much chilli in my indian food from last night!!
Extracted from www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyerets
I aint throwing shit away
So.
I met this chap who was eating me up for recycling my bowtie and clothing "too much". He wasn't bashing me, he was simply stating what even I know, that I put on certain articles of clothing of mine rather often.
But then I explained to him ... as I will explain to you.
Folks like me, who really love clothing, find that I've-used-this-shirt-before-so-I-can't-be-seen-in-it-again mantra utterly ridiculous.
Firstly, Its terribly expensive to try not to be seen in the same outfit again. I know how much I make and I can't possibly afford such a life.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then, there is a connection you build with certain pieces of clothing. Some of my shirts I have had since my hustler days in #Windheok while waiting tables at Primi Piatti Windhoek. Some I bought when I made massive tips and they have always and will always be special to me.
I aint throwing shit away.
If like me, you tailor your clothing, then a shirt is more than just a shirt. It's something a part of you and when it's "injured" you sew the buttons on again or take it to the clothing doctor aka the tailor to resize. Nothing but love.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then there is the quality over quantity theory. I'd rather dress up well in a few sets of quality clothing than have hundreds of clothing that are far from the finest in tailoring. I have nice Ralf Lauren shirts that I LOVE and have lasted like three years. Real quality takes a while to age. So, if it aint broken, why try to fix it?
I aint throwing shit away.
Lastly, I dress up to my tastes and preferences. If I like a look or article of clothing, I will keep it and use it again until I'm fed up with it, not until society is fed up with it.
Moral of the story:
Ceteris Paribus ( i.e the clothing is clean and uncreased) .. better to repeat a good look ... than to try and impress people by not repeating your clothing and ending up looking far from good.
I met this chap who was eating me up for recycling my bowtie and clothing "too much". He wasn't bashing me, he was simply stating what even I know, that I put on certain articles of clothing of mine rather often.
But then I explained to him ... as I will explain to you.
Folks like me, who really love clothing, find that I've-used-this-shirt-before-so-I-can't-be-seen-in-it-again mantra utterly ridiculous.
Firstly, Its terribly expensive to try not to be seen in the same outfit again. I know how much I make and I can't possibly afford such a life.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then, there is a connection you build with certain pieces of clothing. Some of my shirts I have had since my hustler days in #Windheok while waiting tables at Primi Piatti Windhoek. Some I bought when I made massive tips and they have always and will always be special to me.
I aint throwing shit away.
If like me, you tailor your clothing, then a shirt is more than just a shirt. It's something a part of you and when it's "injured" you sew the buttons on again or take it to the clothing doctor aka the tailor to resize. Nothing but love.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then there is the quality over quantity theory. I'd rather dress up well in a few sets of quality clothing than have hundreds of clothing that are far from the finest in tailoring. I have nice Ralf Lauren shirts that I LOVE and have lasted like three years. Real quality takes a while to age. So, if it aint broken, why try to fix it?
I aint throwing shit away.
Lastly, I dress up to my tastes and preferences. If I like a look or article of clothing, I will keep it and use it again until I'm fed up with it, not until society is fed up with it.
Moral of the story:
Ceteris Paribus ( i.e the clothing is clean and uncreased) .. better to repeat a good look ... than to try and impress people by not repeating your clothing and ending up looking far from good.
My mother vs a booty call
Im seated here wallowing and smirking at my shamefully messed up priorities.
Mom whatsapp's me from #Munyonyo (nearly 10km away) to say she will cook me a good meal if I come home and fix her computer ...
I look to the sky ... I'm concerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs ... I'm concerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck in traffic jam .... I'm concerned how long this will take!
*bing*bing*
*** whatsapp's me from #Entebbe (nearly 40km away) to say her boyfriend is away and she is naked in bed ...
I look to the sky... I'm suddenly unconcerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs... I'm suddenly unconcerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck traffic jam... I'm suddenly unconcerned how long it takes!
Ladies and Gentlemen ... that right there is the power the image a naked female body has on the male species.
It can take a grown man with all the right intentions in life (or as they say in the #hood, a nigga that has his shit together) to forget about his loving mother he has known all his life to risk every thing for a naked woman he barely knows.
Oh, its also the reason #porn is one of the most profitable industries!
extracted from www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Mom whatsapp's me from #Munyonyo (nearly 10km away) to say she will cook me a good meal if I come home and fix her computer ...
I look to the sky ... I'm concerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs ... I'm concerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck in traffic jam .... I'm concerned how long this will take!
*bing*bing*
*** whatsapp's me from #Entebbe (nearly 40km away) to say her boyfriend is away and she is naked in bed ...
I look to the sky... I'm suddenly unconcerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs... I'm suddenly unconcerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck traffic jam... I'm suddenly unconcerned how long it takes!
Ladies and Gentlemen ... that right there is the power the image a naked female body has on the male species.
It can take a grown man with all the right intentions in life (or as they say in the #hood, a nigga that has his shit together) to forget about his loving mother he has known all his life to risk every thing for a naked woman he barely knows.
Oh, its also the reason #porn is one of the most profitable industries!
extracted from www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Smart phones and their far from smart owners!
Certain people flabbergast me. And not in a good way.
A workmate has an iPhone and iPad running on #ios7, what is purported to be the worlld's most agile mobile OS.
She has access to possibly MILLIONS of productivity apps through the #appstore to help her organize her day.
She has access to MILLIONS of websites through the internet with freely downloadable information to arm her with info for a random MoS interview.
But she is consistently late, forgets appointments and unsatisfactorily read on information.
It's like living at the shores of a fresh water lake and dying of thirst?
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
While I'm at it, I was headed for a #TvShoot on Pilkington road, which I had never heard about. Seated in the car with the cameraman, I pulled out my #GTNote and fired up my maps app, typed Pilkington Road, Kampala.
The fella was like, "Oh Denzel, you are such a show off! Those things don't work in Uganda."
He quickly retracted his statement and watched in amazement as the phone gave us turn by turn voice directions.
With the internet you are limitless. You can go to university, tour the grand canyon, build a bomb and even learn how to give a woman mind blowing #orgasms.
But of-course you can choose to seat there all day and wonder why you never succeed.
One more time,
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
Extracted from www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Wannabe Superman at The Westgate Mall
Quite sad, this unfortunate situation in Kenya.
#WestGateMallAttack
Another sad situation that is evident when I peruse my timeline is how daft certain people are. Y'all need to lay down your movie remote control more often and read some books like Shake Hands with the Devil.
Some people are asking why the UN hasn't sent an "army" to help or why America hasn't sent "commandos" to kill the terrorists and of course the inevitable "I wanna go to Nairobi and kill dem Al Shabaab boys in da mall" updates.
Relax superman. Rather than flaunt your anger and showcase your miniscule understanding of such volatile situations, I'd rather you plan your trip to Nairobi to donate blood.
Or say a prayer like the rest of us.
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
#WestGateMallAttack
Another sad situation that is evident when I peruse my timeline is how daft certain people are. Y'all need to lay down your movie remote control more often and read some books like Shake Hands with the Devil.
Some people are asking why the UN hasn't sent an "army" to help or why America hasn't sent "commandos" to kill the terrorists and of course the inevitable "I wanna go to Nairobi and kill dem Al Shabaab boys in da mall" updates.
Relax superman. Rather than flaunt your anger and showcase your miniscule understanding of such volatile situations, I'd rather you plan your trip to Nairobi to donate blood.
Or say a prayer like the rest of us.
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
I Ain't Throwin' Shit Away
So.
I met this chap who was eating me up for recycling my bowtie and clothing "too much". He wasn't bashing me, he was simply stating what even I know, that I put on certain articles of clothing of mine rather often.
But then I explained to him ... as I will explain to you.
Folks like me, who really love clothing, find that I've-used-this-shirt-before-so-I-can't-be-seen-in-it-again mantra utterly ridiculous.
Firstly, Its terribly expensive to try not to be seen in the same outfit again. I know how much I make and I can't possibly afford such a life.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then, there is a connection you build with certain pieces of clothing. Some of my shirts I have had since my hustler days in #Windheok while waiting tables at Primi Piatti Windhoek. Some I bought when I made massive tips and they have always and will always be special to me.
I aint throwing shit away.
If like me, you tailor your clothing, then a shirt is more than just a shirt. It's something a part of you and when it's "injured" you sew the buttons on again or take it to the clothing doctor aka the tailor to resize. Nothing but love.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then there is the quality over quantity theory. I'd rather dress up well in a few sets of quality clothing than have hundreds of clothing that are far from the finest in tailoring. I have nice Ralf Lauren shirts that I LOVE and have lasted like three years. Real quality takes a while to age. So, if it aint broken, why try to fix it?
I aint throwing shit away.
Lastly, I dress up to my tastes and preferences. If I like a look or article of clothing, I will keep it and use it again until I'm fed up with it, not until society is fed up with it.
Moral of the story:
Ceteris Paribus ( i.e the clothing is clean and uncreased) .. better to repeat a good look ... than to try and impress people by not repeating your clothing and ending up looking far from good.
I met this chap who was eating me up for recycling my bowtie and clothing "too much". He wasn't bashing me, he was simply stating what even I know, that I put on certain articles of clothing of mine rather often.
But then I explained to him ... as I will explain to you.
Folks like me, who really love clothing, find that I've-used-this-shirt-before-so-I-can't-be-seen-in-it-again mantra utterly ridiculous.
Firstly, Its terribly expensive to try not to be seen in the same outfit again. I know how much I make and I can't possibly afford such a life.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then, there is a connection you build with certain pieces of clothing. Some of my shirts I have had since my hustler days in #Windheok while waiting tables at Primi Piatti Windhoek. Some I bought when I made massive tips and they have always and will always be special to me.
I aint throwing shit away.
If like me, you tailor your clothing, then a shirt is more than just a shirt. It's something a part of you and when it's "injured" you sew the buttons on again or take it to the clothing doctor aka the tailor to resize. Nothing but love.
I aint throwing shit away.
Then there is the quality over quantity theory. I'd rather dress up well in a few sets of quality clothing than have hundreds of clothing that are far from the finest in tailoring. I have nice Ralf Lauren shirts that I LOVE and have lasted like three years. Real quality takes a while to age. So, if it aint broken, why try to fix it?
I aint throwing shit away.
Lastly, I dress up to my tastes and preferences. If I like a look or article of clothing, I will keep it and use it again until I'm fed up with it, not until society is fed up with it.
Moral of the story:
Ceteris Paribus ( i.e the clothing is clean and uncreased) .. better to repeat a good look ... than to try and impress people by not repeating your clothing and ending up looking far from good.
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Battle Of The Oppourtunity Costs: Mom or Sex
Im seated here wallowing and smirking at my shamefully messed up priorities.
Mom whatsapp's me from #Munyonyo (nearly 10km away) to say she will cook me a good meal if I come home and fix her computer ...
I look to the sky ... I'm concerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs ... I'm concerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck in traffic jam .... I'm concerned how long this will take!
*bing*bing*
*** whatsapp's me from #Entebbe (nearly 40km away) to say her boyfriend is away and she is naked in bed ...
I look to the sky... I'm suddenly unconcerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs... I'm suddenly unconcerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck traffic jam... I'm suddenly unconcerned how long it takes!
Ladies and Gentlemen ... that right there is the power the image a naked female body has on the male species.
It can take a grown man with all the right intentions in life (or as they say in the #hood, a nigga that has his shit together) to forget about his loving mother he has known all his life to risk every thing for a naked woman he barely knows.
Oh, its also the reason #porn is one of the most profitable industries!
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Mom whatsapp's me from #Munyonyo (nearly 10km away) to say she will cook me a good meal if I come home and fix her computer ...
I look to the sky ... I'm concerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs ... I'm concerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck in traffic jam .... I'm concerned how long this will take!
*bing*bing*
*** whatsapp's me from #Entebbe (nearly 40km away) to say her boyfriend is away and she is naked in bed ...
I look to the sky... I'm suddenly unconcerned it will rain and dirten my car!
I calculate petrol costs... I'm suddenly unconcerned how much I will pay!
I think of getting stuck traffic jam... I'm suddenly unconcerned how long it takes!
Ladies and Gentlemen ... that right there is the power the image a naked female body has on the male species.
It can take a grown man with all the right intentions in life (or as they say in the #hood, a nigga that has his shit together) to forget about his loving mother he has known all his life to risk every thing for a naked woman he barely knows.
Oh, its also the reason #porn is one of the most profitable industries!
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Baby Makin Music Tears.
Ahh, getting tears of joy from a flash back.
I just listened to #SexMe by R. Kelly.
Back in the day, 2010, I had got my first radio gig on Fresh Fm 102.9 Namibia. I was on air from ... wait for it ... midnight to 5am before Azeal Zyla Cheeze Matsoarelle would come on with the morning show.
Yup, I was on radio for the oddest hours doing The Late Date with Denzel.
Now, most people would bitch about working those hours, but in true Denzel optimist mindset I decided to make the most of it and have fun .
Initially I used to think no one was listening in, but I soon gleamed I had a big following. Mostly broken hearted people with insomnia and general night workers like security guards and office cleaners. And then of course there were others who stayed awake to listen because they genuinely liked my show, like my darling cupcake Ileni ChumChum Shilongo.
So, because it was late night radio, I could really push the bar, in terms of being explicit and perverted. So I had an hour called #BabyMakingMusic where I used to play dirty sexual innuendo filled music and talk about how to make a girl orgasm etc. Boy was that hour dirrrrrty! then there was the #PantyDroppingPlaylist which had three songs I guaranteed could get any girl naked. Haha. Shit was crazy.
Anyways, R. Kelly is the king of baby makin' music and I think during my tenure, #SexMe became my standard anthem for that dirty hour.
I wonder how many people used to get laid thanks to my great music selection? Haha
I also wonder if my boss back then, Daniella ever listened to my show and knew what shenanigans I was getting up to?
Ahh, now I kindda miss Windhoek, Namibia! I wonder when my rich ass friends like Dillish Mathews or my broke ass friends, haha, like Petronella C Gaes are inviting my ass over?
*sinff*sniff* haha
I just listened to #SexMe by R. Kelly.
Back in the day, 2010, I had got my first radio gig on Fresh Fm 102.9 Namibia. I was on air from ... wait for it ... midnight to 5am before Azeal Zyla Cheeze Matsoarelle would come on with the morning show.
Yup, I was on radio for the oddest hours doing The Late Date with Denzel.
Now, most people would bitch about working those hours, but in true Denzel optimist mindset I decided to make the most of it and have fun .
Initially I used to think no one was listening in, but I soon gleamed I had a big following. Mostly broken hearted people with insomnia and general night workers like security guards and office cleaners. And then of course there were others who stayed awake to listen because they genuinely liked my show, like my darling cupcake Ileni ChumChum Shilongo.
So, because it was late night radio, I could really push the bar, in terms of being explicit and perverted. So I had an hour called #BabyMakingMusic where I used to play dirty sexual innuendo filled music and talk about how to make a girl orgasm etc. Boy was that hour dirrrrrty! then there was the #PantyDroppingPlaylist which had three songs I guaranteed could get any girl naked. Haha. Shit was crazy.
Anyways, R. Kelly is the king of baby makin' music and I think during my tenure, #SexMe became my standard anthem for that dirty hour.
I wonder how many people used to get laid thanks to my great music selection? Haha
I also wonder if my boss back then, Daniella ever listened to my show and knew what shenanigans I was getting up to?
Ahh, now I kindda miss Windhoek, Namibia! I wonder when my rich ass friends like Dillish Mathews or my broke ass friends, haha, like Petronella C Gaes are inviting my ass over?
*sinff*sniff* haha
Certain people flabbergast me. And not in a good way.
A workmate has an iPhone and iPad running on #ios7, what is purported to be the worlld's most agile mobile OS.
She has access to possibly MILLIONS of productivity apps through the #appstore to help her organize her day.
She has access to MILLIONS of websites through the internet with freely downloadable information to arm her with info for a random MoS interview.
But she is consistently late, forgets appointments and unsatisfactorily read on information.
It's like living at the shores of a fresh water lake and dying of thirst?
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
While I'm at it, I was headed for a #TvShoot on Pilkington road, which I had never heard about. Seated in the car with the cameraman, I pulled out my #GTNote and fired up my maps app, typed Pilkington Road, Kampala.
The fella was like, "Oh Denzel, you are such a show off! Those things don't work in Uganda."
He quickly retracted his statement and watched in amazement as the phone gave us turn by turn voice directions.
With the internet you are limitless. You can go to university, tour the grand canyon, build a bomb and even learn how to give a woman mind blowing #orgasms.
But of-course you can choose to seat there all day and wonder why you never succeed.
One more time,
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
A workmate has an iPhone and iPad running on #ios7, what is purported to be the worlld's most agile mobile OS.
She has access to possibly MILLIONS of productivity apps through the #appstore to help her organize her day.
She has access to MILLIONS of websites through the internet with freely downloadable information to arm her with info for a random MoS interview.
But she is consistently late, forgets appointments and unsatisfactorily read on information.
It's like living at the shores of a fresh water lake and dying of thirst?
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
While I'm at it, I was headed for a #TvShoot on Pilkington road, which I had never heard about. Seated in the car with the cameraman, I pulled out my #GTNote and fired up my maps app, typed Pilkington Road, Kampala.
The fella was like, "Oh Denzel, you are such a show off! Those things don't work in Uganda."
He quickly retracted his statement and watched in amazement as the phone gave us turn by turn voice directions.
With the internet you are limitless. You can go to university, tour the grand canyon, build a bomb and even learn how to give a woman mind blowing #orgasms.
But of-course you can choose to seat there all day and wonder why you never succeed.
One more time,
Why don't people realize if they don't make the best of what they have they will never really succeed?
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/Charles.Mwiyeretsi
Honestly, You Look Like Shit.
Girls need to stop lying to their friends. It ain't no crime being ugly.
e.g. Comment under a picture:
"Honey you are so hot. That body is for a magazine cover. And those heels...eh, fabulous."
Girls need to stop lying to their friends. It ain't no crime being ugly.
Be a good friend and tell her the truth. She is ugly.
"Honey you are so not so hot. That body is for a wildlife magazine magazine cover. And those heels...eh, it's fabulous how they haven't broken under with that weight of yours."
Girls need to stop lying to their friends. It ain't no crime being ugly.
Most ugly people know they are ugly and you trying to lie only shows how much of a fake friend you are.
A true friend will always tell you the truth ... you look like shit.
extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
e.g. Comment under a picture:
"Honey you are so hot. That body is for a magazine cover. And those heels...eh, fabulous."
Girls need to stop lying to their friends. It ain't no crime being ugly.
Be a good friend and tell her the truth. She is ugly.
"Honey you are so not so hot. That body is for a wildlife magazine magazine cover. And those heels...eh, it's fabulous how they haven't broken under with that weight of yours."
Girls need to stop lying to their friends. It ain't no crime being ugly.
Most ugly people know they are ugly and you trying to lie only shows how much of a fake friend you are.
A true friend will always tell you the truth ... you look like shit.
extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Hey Gay People!
Hey gay people!
You know I don't mind you ... mostly because you have better taste in wine, curtains and clothing than most of my straight friends.
But when you send me the following sermon, you don't really expect me to read it?
______________________________
Conversation started 18 September
18/09/2013 18:51
David loved Jonathan more than women At Jonathan’s funeral, David declares that he loved Jonathan more than any woman. This is just one of several Bible passages that describe and celebrate an intense love between these two men that went well beyond friendship. Listen to a sermon on this topic:
Download The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships This text is an excerpt from The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships. It’s available from Amazon.com and directly from the publisher. Discussion
The author of 1 and 2 Samuel is thought to have been a member of King David’s court. He seems to know the intimate details of David’s life and pulls no punches when telling the story of David’s reign, and of his predecessor King Saul. As part of this story, the author tells about Saul’s son Jonathan and his unique relationship with David.
You may have heard Jonathan and David’s story, but if you’re like most people, you have probably never looked at it closely. If your pastor preached about it, the sermon probably talked about the “friendship” of Jonathan and David. Some Christians point to Jonathan and David as an example of idealized male bonding — a type of “brotherly love” not “stained” by the romantic entanglements of male-female relationships. The biblical text, however, is completely inconsistent with this strained interpretation. We will present the biblical evidence and let you be the jury. You decide: Were Jonathan and David merely good friends (experiencing brotherly love), or was there a deeper (romantic) level to their relationship?
The author of 1 Samuel tells of a man named Saul, who became king over Israel and fathered a son named Jonathan. David, who was a shepherd from the smallest of the tribes of Israel, came to the attention of Saul and Jonathan when he volunteered to fight a giant who was troubling their nation. The text tells us David was not afraid because he believed God was on the side of the Israelites. In a show of courage, David fought the giant with only a sling shot and a handful of pebbles. Miraculously, he was victorious. Saul was intrigued by this courageous young man, and so he called David to come talk to him, which brings us to Exhibit A. The text says:
“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
Now, imagine if this story had been about Jonathan and a woman. Suppose the author had written that “Jonathan’s soul was bound to Mirriam, and Jonathan loved her as his own soul.” And suppose that upon meeting Mirriam for the first time, Jonathan immediately gave her all his most precious possessions. (The armor and weapons of a prince were important symbols of his power and status.) If 1 Samuel 18:1-4 were about Jonathan’s first encounter with a woman, theologians everywhere would be writing about this as one of the greatest love stories of all time. The story of Jonathan and his love would be the source of dozens of Hollywood films. But because the object of Jonathan’s affection is a man, our cultural prejudice kicks in and we insist (notwithstanding the biblical evidence) that this could not have been more than deep friendship.
This “culturally correct” reading will not withstand scrutiny. It asks us to put an interpretation on the story that is completely at odds with our own experience of human behavior. When was the last time you saw a heterosexual man, swept away by brotherly love, offer another man his most precious possessions in their first encounter? Suppose the pastor of your church (assuming he is a man), upon meeting another man for the first time, stripped himself of his suit and gave it to the other. Suppose in that same encounter he also offered his most precious possessions — perhaps a family Bible, a wristwatch with an inscription from his parents, and his beloved four-wheel drive pickup truck. Wouldn’t this strike you as more than just a little “queer”? Let’s face it, the author of 1 Samuel is describing a classic love-at-first-sight encounter that happens to involve two men.
But there is more to the story than this one meeting. The text goes on to tell us David became a mighty warrior, and his popularity with the people of Israel threatened Saul’s throne, so Saul planned to kill David. But Jonathan warned David, and he fled the palace before Saul could act. Eventually, Jonathan convinced his father to allow David back, but Saul soon planned again to kill David. This time he did not tell Jonathan (he’d learned his lesson the first time), but David was able to escape anyway.
Then Jonathan and David met in secret. Jonathan begged David to come back to the palace, but David was afraid for his life. So they made a plan: Jonathan would go home and try to find out what his father was thinking. If his father had cooled down, he would let David know it was safe.
One night, at the royal table, the subject of David came up, and Jonathan spoke on his behalf. Saul’s reaction is Exhibit B. Saul said to Jonathan:
“You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen [David] the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established.” (1 Samuel 20:30)
Many gay men have experienced dinner conversations that sounded very similar to this one. They made the mistake of talking about their lover at the table, and their father became furious. More often than not, the blame goes first to the mother, who was “too soft,” or “too harsh,” or who “perverted” her son somehow. Then the father turns his anger toward the son: “Can’t you see how you’re shaming the whole family? Do you even care what this will do to your career? You’ll never amount to anything until you give up this foolishness!”
Note 1. Leviticus 18:6-18 begins, “You shall not approach anyone near of kin to uncover nakedness” and goes on to list every possible incestuous relationship (except that of father and daughter), stating before each one, “You shall not uncover the nakedness of . . .”
In the biblical text, the arguments are the same. And, even more significantly, Saul’s reference to shaming Jonathan’s mother’s nakedness carries a sexual connotation. Uncovering the nakedness of a family member was a euphemism for incest in the holiness codes of the Old Testament, and Saul would not have used this phrase lightly. (See note 1.) The implication is that Jonathan is bringing sexual shame on his family.
Jonathan immediately ran from the table. And, that night, he went to tell David the sad news. The narrative of their final meeting is full of tragedy and pathos, and constitutes Exhibit C.
“David rose from beside the stone heap and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He bowed three times and they kissed each other and wept with each other; David wept the more. Then Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, “The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants, forever.” ’ He got up and left; and Jonathan went into the city.” (1 Samuel 20:41-42)
Note 2. The story of David adopting Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth is found in 2 Samuel 9. For examples of how some other monarchs dealt with the potential heirs to the throne, see 2 Kings 10:1-11 and 11:1-3, 13-16.
This was the last time they would ever see each other. David went into hiding, and Jonathan was eventually killed in battle, alongside his father. Perhaps they had some idea this was the end. They certainly knew their love was doomed. And Jonathan reminded David of their covenant with each other. He reminded him that even if they could not be together, they had made a pledge and the bond between them would last through all generations. All their children and grandchildren would be like one family, bound by their love for each other. Later, after taking the throne, David would remember this covenant and adopt Jonathan’s only son as his own — something completely unheard of in a time when kings were expected to kill anyone with any connection to a previous, rival king. (See note 2.)
So, we ask, was this merely deep friendship or a romantic relationship? In Exhibit A, upon their first meeting, Jonathan is said to have loved David as his own soul and to have given him his most precious possessions. In Exhibit B, Jonathan’s father uses language of sex and shame when he decries Jonathan and David’s relationship in a fit of rage. In Exhibit C, we see Jonathan and David’s passionate, tearful goodbye, and Jonathan reminding David of the eternal covenant they have made to each other — a covenant David still honors years later, even though honoring it is politically incorrect. But if you are still not convinced this was a romantic relationship, there is one more piece of biblical evidence — the smoking gun, so to speak. The story has one more passionate chapter.
In the first chapter of 2 Samuel, the author tells us that after Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle, David tore his clothes and fasted, a sign of deep mourning. He wept and wrote a song, which he ordered all the people of Judah to sing. In that song, he included these words, which are Exhibit D:
“Saul and Jonathan, beloved and lovely! In life and in death they were not divided; they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathan lies slain upon your high places. I am distressed for you my brother Jonathan; Greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:23, 26-27, emphasis added)
Here it is in black and white. David states the love he shared with Jonathan was greater than what he had experienced with women. Have you ever heard a heterosexual man say he loved his male friend more than his wife? This goes well beyond deep friendship between two heterosexual men.
In this story, we have a direct biblical answer to our question: Can two people of the same sex live in a loving, committed relationship with God’s favor? The answer is “yes,” because Jonathan and David did, and the Bible celebrates their relationship.
Note 3. On pages 20-24 of Homoeroticism in the Biblical World, Martti Nissinen does a good job discussing the Epic of Gilgamesh, which he says is “sometimes considered the most important ancient Near Eastern depiction of homoeroticism.” (Page 20.) In this story, Gilgamesh is described as a half-man half-god, whose energy for sex and adventure are endless. He ravages the young men and women of Uruk so uncontrollably that the people of Uruk call to the creator goddess to create him a suitable partner, so he will leave them alone. The creator goddess makes a red-haired man named Enkidu, and the adventures of Gilgamesh and Enkidu make up the rest of the tale. David F. Greenberg also discusses the Epic of Gilgamesh, along with other examples of Near Eastern homosexual warrior love relationships on pages 110-116 of The Construction of Homosexuality. He states, “Parallels to the Gilgamesh-Enkidu relationship have often been seen in the biblical stories of David and Jonathan, and in the devotion of Achilles and Patrocles for one another in the Illiad.” (Page 113) For further discussion of the Epic of Gilgamesh and how it might have been used by the writers of the Bible, see also Reading the Old Testament (Wadsworth Publishing Company, Belmont, CA, 1999) by Barry L. Bandstra, pages 76-77.
The author feels no need to explain away the love between these two men, putting in a note saying “this may look like a love story, but no hanky-panky happened.” When King Saul assumes the relationship is much more than friendship, the author leaves Saul’s comments in, and lets the reader assume the same. The author also would have been aware of this story’s similarity to other ancient Near-eastern stories that contained homoerotic aspects. (See note 3.) He would have known his story would be interpreted by readers of his time with these other accounts in mind, yet he did not bother to differentiate Jonathan and David’s relationship.
Under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the author of 1 and 2 Samuel wrote this beautiful love story and saw no conflict between it and the earlier Scriptures in Leviticus. How is this possible? Apparently the author of 1 and 2 Samuel understood the Leviticus passage the same way we do, seeing it as a condemnation of Canaanite temple sex which, therefore, had no application to a deep romantic relationship between two men who loved and served the God of Israel. (See Israel's Holiness Code for a complete discussion.) If someone had challenged the author of 1 and 2 Samuel, he might well have responded, “This is not what Leviticus was meant to condemn. You’ve got to understand the context in which Leviticus was written. This is a very different situation.”
Why can’t we use the same common sense today? Why are some Christians so determined to condemn what God has so clearly approved in Scripture?
Note 4. The Bible tells us both David and Jonathan married. (1 Samuel 25:39-42; 2 Samuel 3:14; 4:4; 9:3-7; 11:27) This is not inconsistent with a romantic relationship between them. Even today, many homosexual people marry and bear children to conform to social pressures. As a prince, Jonathan would have had no choice but to marry, so as to bear a son to become his heir. David would have faced similar pressures. Other Bible stories indicate David was capable of feeling lust for women. (2 Samuel 11:2-26) He appears to have been what we today would call a bisexual — someone capable of forming a deep romantic relationship with persons of either sex. By contrast, based on what we find in Scripture, David seems to have been Jonathan’s only sincere romantic interest. He appears to have been what we today would call a gay man.
Remember, David is not some minor hero in the Bible. He is called “a man after God’s own heart.” (1 Samuel 13:14) He is one of Israel’s best-loved kings. He is one of the most prolific writers of Scripture (writing many of the Psalms). He is in the lineage of Jesus Christ. And he loved Jonathan. (See note 4.) For Further Study Books The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships by Rev. Jeff Miner and John Tyler Connoley "Short, clear, and amazingly easy to read, this book does much more than offering loopholes or excuses with regards to the Bible. Instead, the authors combine careful research with a tremendous respect for God's Word, using humor, personal stories, and Biblical examples to make their case." --review from GayChristian.net. Most of the text on this site is from The Children Are Free. The Good Book by Rev. Peter Gomes Some people idolize the Bible, and others discount it. Rev. Gomes does neither. This thoughtful book describes the nature of Bible abuse in the church throughout history, and proposes a way to read the Bible without neglecting either its Divine inspiration or its cultural context. Holy Homosexuals : The Truth About Being Gay or Lesbian and Christian by Rev. Michael S. Piazza Rev. Piazza makes his case elequently in a book suitible for lay people and clergy alike. Piazza shows a deep respect for scripture, while educating the reader on context in both Hebrew and and Greek society. Is It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay & Lesbian People, Third Edition by Eric Marcus Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response by Letha Scanzoni and Virginia Mollenkott This compasionate book examines the meanings and intents of Scripture, but also speaks of real people's lives, and challenges Christians (gay and not) to re-examine their attitudes toward gay and lesbian people. Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church by Jack Rogers Evangelical theologian and former Moderator of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) Jack Rogers observes that today's church is led by many of those who were once cast out: people of color, women, and divorced and remarried people, and he argues that we must interpret the Bible through the lens of Jesus' redemptive life and ministry. Our Tribe: Queer Folks, God, Jesus, and the Bible by Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson (This title is out of print, but Amazon usually has used copies available.) Our Tribe is the anecdotal, scripture-citing, and very funny memoir of the ministry of Rev. Wilson, Moderator of the Metropolitan Community Churches. The Queer Bible Commentary by Deryn Guest, Robert E. Goss, Mona West, Thomas Bohache Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America by Rev. Dr. Mel White Rev. White details his twenty-five years of being counseled, exorcised, electric-shocked, and nearly driven to suicide because his church said homosexuality was wrong. His story is powerful and uplifting. Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan Writer, blogger, and gay Catholic, Andrew Sullivan analyzes the politics of the homosexuality debate. His ideas are sure to give both sides something to think about. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak An examination of all of the Biblical passages that are commonly used to condemn gay people and gay behavior. The methods of Biblical interpretation, and their validity, are explained well. Affirming Christian Communities Jesus Metropolitan Community Church, Indianapolis, Indiana An affirming, Biblically-focused, Jesus-following church in central Indiana. Visit the web site for online sermons, a daily devotional, and information about the church. Metropolitan Community Churches An affirming Christian denomination, founded in 1968, with congregations in most US States and in 22 countries. Affirming Congregations List from ChristianLesbians.com The Gay Christian Network A nonprofit organization providing resources and support to Christians who happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trangender. They also work with churches and other Christian organizations to help educate the Christian community about sexual orientation issues from a Biblical standpoint. Visit the website for Bible study resources, prayer support, online sermons, a weekly internet radio show, and a supportive community of GLBT Christians from across the theological spectrum. Whosoever An online magazine for GLBT Christians.
______________________________
Hey gay people!
You know I don't mind you ... but thats a long ass message, forgive the pun.
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
You know I don't mind you ... mostly because you have better taste in wine, curtains and clothing than most of my straight friends.
But when you send me the following sermon, you don't really expect me to read it?
______________________________
Conversation started 18 September
18/09/2013 18:51
David loved Jonathan more than women At Jonathan’s funeral, David declares that he loved Jonathan more than any woman. This is just one of several Bible passages that describe and celebrate an intense love between these two men that went well beyond friendship. Listen to a sermon on this topic:
Download The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships This text is an excerpt from The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships. It’s available from Amazon.com and directly from the publisher. Discussion
The author of 1 and 2 Samuel is thought to have been a member of King David’s court. He seems to know the intimate details of David’s life and pulls no punches when telling the story of David’s reign, and of his predecessor King Saul. As part of this story, the author tells about Saul’s son Jonathan and his unique relationship with David.
You may have heard Jonathan and David’s story, but if you’re like most people, you have probably never looked at it closely. If your pastor preached about it, the sermon probably talked about the “friendship” of Jonathan and David. Some Christians point to Jonathan and David as an example of idealized male bonding — a type of “brotherly love” not “stained” by the romantic entanglements of male-female relationships. The biblical text, however, is completely inconsistent with this strained interpretation. We will present the biblical evidence and let you be the jury. You decide: Were Jonathan and David merely good friends (experiencing brotherly love), or was there a deeper (romantic) level to their relationship?
The author of 1 Samuel tells of a man named Saul, who became king over Israel and fathered a son named Jonathan. David, who was a shepherd from the smallest of the tribes of Israel, came to the attention of Saul and Jonathan when he volunteered to fight a giant who was troubling their nation. The text tells us David was not afraid because he believed God was on the side of the Israelites. In a show of courage, David fought the giant with only a sling shot and a handful of pebbles. Miraculously, he was victorious. Saul was intrigued by this courageous young man, and so he called David to come talk to him, which brings us to Exhibit A. The text says:
“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
Now, imagine if this story had been about Jonathan and a woman. Suppose the author had written that “Jonathan’s soul was bound to Mirriam, and Jonathan loved her as his own soul.” And suppose that upon meeting Mirriam for the first time, Jonathan immediately gave her all his most precious possessions. (The armor and weapons of a prince were important symbols of his power and status.) If 1 Samuel 18:1-4 were about Jonathan’s first encounter with a woman, theologians everywhere would be writing about this as one of the greatest love stories of all time. The story of Jonathan and his love would be the source of dozens of Hollywood films. But because the object of Jonathan’s affection is a man, our cultural prejudice kicks in and we insist (notwithstanding the biblical evidence) that this could not have been more than deep friendship.
This “culturally correct” reading will not withstand scrutiny. It asks us to put an interpretation on the story that is completely at odds with our own experience of human behavior. When was the last time you saw a heterosexual man, swept away by brotherly love, offer another man his most precious possessions in their first encounter? Suppose the pastor of your church (assuming he is a man), upon meeting another man for the first time, stripped himself of his suit and gave it to the other. Suppose in that same encounter he also offered his most precious possessions — perhaps a family Bible, a wristwatch with an inscription from his parents, and his beloved four-wheel drive pickup truck. Wouldn’t this strike you as more than just a little “queer”? Let’s face it, the author of 1 Samuel is describing a classic love-at-first-sight encounter that happens to involve two men.
But there is more to the story than this one meeting. The text goes on to tell us David became a mighty warrior, and his popularity with the people of Israel threatened Saul’s throne, so Saul planned to kill David. But Jonathan warned David, and he fled the palace before Saul could act. Eventually, Jonathan convinced his father to allow David back, but Saul soon planned again to kill David. This time he did not tell Jonathan (he’d learned his lesson the first time), but David was able to escape anyway.
Then Jonathan and David met in secret. Jonathan begged David to come back to the palace, but David was afraid for his life. So they made a plan: Jonathan would go home and try to find out what his father was thinking. If his father had cooled down, he would let David know it was safe.
One night, at the royal table, the subject of David came up, and Jonathan spoke on his behalf. Saul’s reaction is Exhibit B. Saul said to Jonathan:
“You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen [David] the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established.” (1 Samuel 20:30)
Many gay men have experienced dinner conversations that sounded very similar to this one. They made the mistake of talking about their lover at the table, and their father became furious. More often than not, the blame goes first to the mother, who was “too soft,” or “too harsh,” or who “perverted” her son somehow. Then the father turns his anger toward the son: “Can’t you see how you’re shaming the whole family? Do you even care what this will do to your career? You’ll never amount to anything until you give up this foolishness!”
Note 1. Leviticus 18:6-18 begins, “You shall not approach anyone near of kin to uncover nakedness” and goes on to list every possible incestuous relationship (except that of father and daughter), stating before each one, “You shall not uncover the nakedness of . . .”
In the biblical text, the arguments are the same. And, even more significantly, Saul’s reference to shaming Jonathan’s mother’s nakedness carries a sexual connotation. Uncovering the nakedness of a family member was a euphemism for incest in the holiness codes of the Old Testament, and Saul would not have used this phrase lightly. (See note 1.) The implication is that Jonathan is bringing sexual shame on his family.
Jonathan immediately ran from the table. And, that night, he went to tell David the sad news. The narrative of their final meeting is full of tragedy and pathos, and constitutes Exhibit C.
“David rose from beside the stone heap and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He bowed three times and they kissed each other and wept with each other; David wept the more. Then Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, “The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants, forever.” ’ He got up and left; and Jonathan went into the city.” (1 Samuel 20:41-42)
Note 2. The story of David adopting Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth is found in 2 Samuel 9. For examples of how some other monarchs dealt with the potential heirs to the throne, see 2 Kings 10:1-11 and 11:1-3, 13-16.
This was the last time they would ever see each other. David went into hiding, and Jonathan was eventually killed in battle, alongside his father. Perhaps they had some idea this was the end. They certainly knew their love was doomed. And Jonathan reminded David of their covenant with each other. He reminded him that even if they could not be together, they had made a pledge and the bond between them would last through all generations. All their children and grandchildren would be like one family, bound by their love for each other. Later, after taking the throne, David would remember this covenant and adopt Jonathan’s only son as his own — something completely unheard of in a time when kings were expected to kill anyone with any connection to a previous, rival king. (See note 2.)
So, we ask, was this merely deep friendship or a romantic relationship? In Exhibit A, upon their first meeting, Jonathan is said to have loved David as his own soul and to have given him his most precious possessions. In Exhibit B, Jonathan’s father uses language of sex and shame when he decries Jonathan and David’s relationship in a fit of rage. In Exhibit C, we see Jonathan and David’s passionate, tearful goodbye, and Jonathan reminding David of the eternal covenant they have made to each other — a covenant David still honors years later, even though honoring it is politically incorrect. But if you are still not convinced this was a romantic relationship, there is one more piece of biblical evidence — the smoking gun, so to speak. The story has one more passionate chapter.
In the first chapter of 2 Samuel, the author tells us that after Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle, David tore his clothes and fasted, a sign of deep mourning. He wept and wrote a song, which he ordered all the people of Judah to sing. In that song, he included these words, which are Exhibit D:
“Saul and Jonathan, beloved and lovely! In life and in death they were not divided; they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathan lies slain upon your high places. I am distressed for you my brother Jonathan; Greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:23, 26-27, emphasis added)
Here it is in black and white. David states the love he shared with Jonathan was greater than what he had experienced with women. Have you ever heard a heterosexual man say he loved his male friend more than his wife? This goes well beyond deep friendship between two heterosexual men.
In this story, we have a direct biblical answer to our question: Can two people of the same sex live in a loving, committed relationship with God’s favor? The answer is “yes,” because Jonathan and David did, and the Bible celebrates their relationship.
Note 3. On pages 20-24 of Homoeroticism in the Biblical World, Martti Nissinen does a good job discussing the Epic of Gilgamesh, which he says is “sometimes considered the most important ancient Near Eastern depiction of homoeroticism.” (Page 20.) In this story, Gilgamesh is described as a half-man half-god, whose energy for sex and adventure are endless. He ravages the young men and women of Uruk so uncontrollably that the people of Uruk call to the creator goddess to create him a suitable partner, so he will leave them alone. The creator goddess makes a red-haired man named Enkidu, and the adventures of Gilgamesh and Enkidu make up the rest of the tale. David F. Greenberg also discusses the Epic of Gilgamesh, along with other examples of Near Eastern homosexual warrior love relationships on pages 110-116 of The Construction of Homosexuality. He states, “Parallels to the Gilgamesh-Enkidu relationship have often been seen in the biblical stories of David and Jonathan, and in the devotion of Achilles and Patrocles for one another in the Illiad.” (Page 113) For further discussion of the Epic of Gilgamesh and how it might have been used by the writers of the Bible, see also Reading the Old Testament (Wadsworth Publishing Company, Belmont, CA, 1999) by Barry L. Bandstra, pages 76-77.
The author feels no need to explain away the love between these two men, putting in a note saying “this may look like a love story, but no hanky-panky happened.” When King Saul assumes the relationship is much more than friendship, the author leaves Saul’s comments in, and lets the reader assume the same. The author also would have been aware of this story’s similarity to other ancient Near-eastern stories that contained homoerotic aspects. (See note 3.) He would have known his story would be interpreted by readers of his time with these other accounts in mind, yet he did not bother to differentiate Jonathan and David’s relationship.
Under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the author of 1 and 2 Samuel wrote this beautiful love story and saw no conflict between it and the earlier Scriptures in Leviticus. How is this possible? Apparently the author of 1 and 2 Samuel understood the Leviticus passage the same way we do, seeing it as a condemnation of Canaanite temple sex which, therefore, had no application to a deep romantic relationship between two men who loved and served the God of Israel. (See Israel's Holiness Code for a complete discussion.) If someone had challenged the author of 1 and 2 Samuel, he might well have responded, “This is not what Leviticus was meant to condemn. You’ve got to understand the context in which Leviticus was written. This is a very different situation.”
Why can’t we use the same common sense today? Why are some Christians so determined to condemn what God has so clearly approved in Scripture?
Note 4. The Bible tells us both David and Jonathan married. (1 Samuel 25:39-42; 2 Samuel 3:14; 4:4; 9:3-7; 11:27) This is not inconsistent with a romantic relationship between them. Even today, many homosexual people marry and bear children to conform to social pressures. As a prince, Jonathan would have had no choice but to marry, so as to bear a son to become his heir. David would have faced similar pressures. Other Bible stories indicate David was capable of feeling lust for women. (2 Samuel 11:2-26) He appears to have been what we today would call a bisexual — someone capable of forming a deep romantic relationship with persons of either sex. By contrast, based on what we find in Scripture, David seems to have been Jonathan’s only sincere romantic interest. He appears to have been what we today would call a gay man.
Remember, David is not some minor hero in the Bible. He is called “a man after God’s own heart.” (1 Samuel 13:14) He is one of Israel’s best-loved kings. He is one of the most prolific writers of Scripture (writing many of the Psalms). He is in the lineage of Jesus Christ. And he loved Jonathan. (See note 4.) For Further Study Books The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships by Rev. Jeff Miner and John Tyler Connoley "Short, clear, and amazingly easy to read, this book does much more than offering loopholes or excuses with regards to the Bible. Instead, the authors combine careful research with a tremendous respect for God's Word, using humor, personal stories, and Biblical examples to make their case." --review from GayChristian.net. Most of the text on this site is from The Children Are Free. The Good Book by Rev. Peter Gomes Some people idolize the Bible, and others discount it. Rev. Gomes does neither. This thoughtful book describes the nature of Bible abuse in the church throughout history, and proposes a way to read the Bible without neglecting either its Divine inspiration or its cultural context. Holy Homosexuals : The Truth About Being Gay or Lesbian and Christian by Rev. Michael S. Piazza Rev. Piazza makes his case elequently in a book suitible for lay people and clergy alike. Piazza shows a deep respect for scripture, while educating the reader on context in both Hebrew and and Greek society. Is It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay & Lesbian People, Third Edition by Eric Marcus Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response by Letha Scanzoni and Virginia Mollenkott This compasionate book examines the meanings and intents of Scripture, but also speaks of real people's lives, and challenges Christians (gay and not) to re-examine their attitudes toward gay and lesbian people. Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church by Jack Rogers Evangelical theologian and former Moderator of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) Jack Rogers observes that today's church is led by many of those who were once cast out: people of color, women, and divorced and remarried people, and he argues that we must interpret the Bible through the lens of Jesus' redemptive life and ministry. Our Tribe: Queer Folks, God, Jesus, and the Bible by Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson (This title is out of print, but Amazon usually has used copies available.) Our Tribe is the anecdotal, scripture-citing, and very funny memoir of the ministry of Rev. Wilson, Moderator of the Metropolitan Community Churches. The Queer Bible Commentary by Deryn Guest, Robert E. Goss, Mona West, Thomas Bohache Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America by Rev. Dr. Mel White Rev. White details his twenty-five years of being counseled, exorcised, electric-shocked, and nearly driven to suicide because his church said homosexuality was wrong. His story is powerful and uplifting. Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan Writer, blogger, and gay Catholic, Andrew Sullivan analyzes the politics of the homosexuality debate. His ideas are sure to give both sides something to think about. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak An examination of all of the Biblical passages that are commonly used to condemn gay people and gay behavior. The methods of Biblical interpretation, and their validity, are explained well. Affirming Christian Communities Jesus Metropolitan Community Church, Indianapolis, Indiana An affirming, Biblically-focused, Jesus-following church in central Indiana. Visit the web site for online sermons, a daily devotional, and information about the church. Metropolitan Community Churches An affirming Christian denomination, founded in 1968, with congregations in most US States and in 22 countries. Affirming Congregations List from ChristianLesbians.com The Gay Christian Network A nonprofit organization providing resources and support to Christians who happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trangender. They also work with churches and other Christian organizations to help educate the Christian community about sexual orientation issues from a Biblical standpoint. Visit the website for Bible study resources, prayer support, online sermons, a weekly internet radio show, and a supportive community of GLBT Christians from across the theological spectrum. Whosoever An online magazine for GLBT Christians.
______________________________
Hey gay people!
You know I don't mind you ... but thats a long ass message, forgive the pun.
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Denzel's Mouth, Denzel's Mind and The Pregnant Girl.
Met this pregnant girl:
Denzel's mouth: Oh, congratulations on the baby. You look great.
Denzel's mind: Your puffy face looks horrible. And your bobbs? Oh no. They used to be nice and perky.
PG's mouth: Thank Denzel. Goodbye by the way, the dad's flying me to give birth in #SouthAfrica.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, thats sweet of him.
Denzel's mind: Like I give a shit.
PG's mouth. Oh yes, he is amazing.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, so who's this amazing dad?
Denzel's mind: Oh when is this conversation ending?
PDG's mouth: Oh, thats a secret.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, thats sweet
Denzel's mind: HAAHAHAHAHAHA....so you got knocked up by some high profile dude with a wife and kids and now he flying you out for the birth coz he don't want no body to know? #SleekBastard
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Denzel's mouth: Oh, congratulations on the baby. You look great.
Denzel's mind: Your puffy face looks horrible. And your bobbs? Oh no. They used to be nice and perky.
PG's mouth: Thank Denzel. Goodbye by the way, the dad's flying me to give birth in #SouthAfrica.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, thats sweet of him.
Denzel's mind: Like I give a shit.
PG's mouth. Oh yes, he is amazing.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, so who's this amazing dad?
Denzel's mind: Oh when is this conversation ending?
PDG's mouth: Oh, thats a secret.
Denzel's mouth: Oh, thats sweet
Denzel's mind: HAAHAHAHAHAHA....so you got knocked up by some high profile dude with a wife and kids and now he flying you out for the birth coz he don't want no body to know? #SleekBastard
Extracted from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
Thy Phone and Thy Penis
So, here are the results of my fuck-it-Im-bored week long research.
I been spying on naked guys at the gym #NoHomo and comparing the size of *cough*cough* in comparison to the size of their phone's.
Are y'all ready for the results?
Yep! In 8 out of the 10 naked guys I was researching on, haha, it turns out guys with small *cough*cough* have small phones like #Nokia1100 #iPhone5 and #SamsungGalaxyPocket. Meanwhile the guys with big *cough*cough* have phones like #SamsungGalaxyNote and #HTCOne
So there you have it ladies (and gay guys) the next time some guy is taking your phone number and he pulls out a small phone...save yourself the disappointment and give him a fake number.
My gym thesis goes to conclude that a man with feel comfortable using a small phone because he is used to ...umm...small things.
#ThankMeLater
Collected from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
I been spying on naked guys at the gym #NoHomo and comparing the size of *cough*cough* in comparison to the size of their phone's.
Are y'all ready for the results?
Yep! In 8 out of the 10 naked guys I was researching on, haha, it turns out guys with small *cough*cough* have small phones like #Nokia1100 #iPhone5 and #SamsungGalaxyPocket. Meanwhile the guys with big *cough*cough* have phones like #SamsungGalaxyNote and #HTCOne
So there you have it ladies (and gay guys) the next time some guy is taking your phone number and he pulls out a small phone...save yourself the disappointment and give him a fake number.
My gym thesis goes to conclude that a man with feel comfortable using a small phone because he is used to ...umm...small things.
#ThankMeLater
Collected from
www.facebook.com/charles.mwiyeretsi
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