Engagement ring stripper

*kissing her*

I bite her lower lip...suck on it...nibble her upper lip...as my hand massages her neck...tagging on her hair...I use my tongue to part her lips...and suck her tongue..I move aside and start kissing her neck..I can hear her groan...just as I'm about to launch an attack on her ears...

*She pulls away*

Me: Umm...whats the matter?
*in my mind* Why has she stopped me? Does she have dirty ears?

Her: Umm...give me a second, I need to remove my engagement ring.

*In my mind* WHAT THE !!! !!! She is ENGAGED!?! I thought that ring was part of her #Swag!?!

Me: Ummm...you are engaged?
Her:Ummm...Yes. You wont understand Denzel, you see he comes from a good family. Forget that....KISS ME!

I shrug as I continue *kissing her* I think how lucky I am not to come from a "good family" (good family = rich family) because I know IF someone ever decides to ever marry me (haha), I'm certain she will like me for me, not my family name.

You drink water, so you are poor?

Minding my own business, I buy a bottle of water and as I take my seat in the cinema Ms. Fat-Cow-That-Thinks-She-Funny leans over and says "Denzel?The radio guy?Don't they pay you enough to afford a soda and popcorn?"
I turn and politely say "Oh Hi Adele! No. Wait. You can't be Adele...because you're not pregnant...you're actually fat...because of that soda in your hand"
She shut up and leaned back.


1-I don't take to pathetic conversations in the cinema.
2-I don't take to pathetic mindsets that think drinking water is a sign of being impoverished.

While I'm at it, Spiderman 3 is a decent motion picture...

Ladies, we aren't always hitting on you!

The pain of meeting the x girlfriend looking really good...(*what happened to the pimples?)

The joy of meeting her new not so good looking boyfriend...(*rick ross tummy etc LOL)

The pain of noting he is alot more successful than you...(*Thats his business card!?!)

The joy of knowing he only rose so high because of "daddy's influence" ...(*Influential surname)

The pain of knowing he is constantly cheating on her .... (*So, yes, I still care.)

Led to the following conversation>
Denzel : Hey, can we meet up, there is something I been meaning to tell you for a while and I cant exactly say this over the phone.
Suddenly Arrogant ***** : Forget it Denzel, you dont stand a chance. What we had is over and I'm not really keen on meeting up with you.
Denzel : Errm ...Ummm... Ok, good day!

Led to the following scenario>

The joy of knowing he is constantly cheating on her...(*I tried to tell you)

The double joy of knowing she thinks she is the luckiest girl in the world...(*dream on)

Moral of the story:
Slow your role ladies, we aint always trying to hit on you.

Konshens on Xfm

So, we have Konshens live on XFM 94.8
So, we take callers live on air

Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!

*Call disconnected*

Konshens on Xfm

So, we have Konshens live on XFM 94.8
So, we take callers live on air

Konshens: Calla, bigup yuh self
Caller: ooooooowwee lalalal...mama...konisheniz!!!
Konshens: Ya ya ... wagwan wagwan
Caller: Meee eh...I love you Konisheniz... ooohhh
Konshens: Love ya too ... bless and big up yuhself!!!
Caller: Now Konisheniz, I want tickets to da show
Konshens: Ya wan tickets nuh?
DJ Kenny Ken: Umm errrm...
Konshens: How many tickets ya wan?
Caller: For me and also for my frendis
Konshens: All-right all-right ... the tickets are outside the window
Caller: REALLY?
Konshens: yah man ... look outside the window NOW!!!

*Call disconnected*

Ladies, listen up

Ladies,
and I'm only being real here,
if you know you don't score highly in the looks department,
and I'm only being real here,
don't EVER hangout with your pretty girlfriends,
and I'm only being real here,
Atleast get an uglier-than-you girlfriend
and I'm only being real here,
so that atleast you look ...errm..."pretty"...by comparison,
and I'm only being real here!

The Proud Ugandans

Wow. I'm gobsmacked by a BBC report that 50% of South Africans are without a job.
Damn. That's quite sad.
*side story.
I was always taken aback by the southern African attitude towards work (Namibia included) in contrast to East Africans (Uganda in particular)
When I was hustling as a waiter, people would actually respect you for having a job regardless the designation. Plus alot of the "cool kids" I knew had hustled working in bars, supermarkets etc
In Uganda, tell people you are a waiter. They will certainly laugh or deride you.
Same applies to money. People here seem to NEVER admit being broke/living in a ghetto/going to a simple school.
No. Ugandan would rather "ah, I can't tell you where I live/work/study."...or the classic "drop me here, ill walk the rest of the way to my place"
Folks need to be more proud of who they are. All said and done it makes you a happier person.